Archives for category: Beauty


When I was diagnosed with cancer family and friends bombarded me with instructions on how to not only survive, but also thrive in the face of cancer. To be a successful cancer survivor you must eat a raw organic vegan gluten free diet, drink a green juice each morning, dry brush your skin daily, soak in Epsom salts and baking soda each night, drink a minimum of 15 glasses of reverse osmosis purified water daily, abstain from alcohol and caffeine, buy BPA free EVERYTHING, wear organic materials, meditate, practice yoga, get acupuncture, have an incredible therapist, buy an $800 air purifier, continue your career in a way that fulfills you and without any stress, get a therapy dog, and be an expert on any potential carcinogen (make up, cell phones, soy, celery anyone?). This is only a smattering of the most mainstream prescriptions that I received. Beating cancer was the easy part, but performing the part of healthy girl was another story.

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I’ve always been a relatively good traveler, but, to be honest, I’ve noticed lately that trips make me more nervous than they used to. Like other things, I tend to blame this on navigating an unpredictable immune system and medication side effects.  When I got sick, keeping a strict schedule in a fairly controlled environment really helped me to keep hold on my health situation and to feel as comfortable as possible. While this makes it more difficult for me to finish a paper at the eleventh hour, throw some clothes in a bag last minute, fight blindly through sleep deprivation during big events, and stagger home bleary eyed but generally energized from a fun adventure, I do think it’s prompted me to take a look at my travel rituals and be more mindful about self-care on the road. Can’t be a bad thing, can it? As I prepare for a trip to attend a week-long symposium in California next week, I’ve been considering my travel rituals and ways to make myself feel more comfortable not only on the plane, but also while I am away from home.

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It’s been almost six months since I wrote. Many things have calmed down since then. We moved into our beautiful and cozy apartment in Long Island City – a neighborhood that we love. Joey studied for and passed the NY bar exam. I got a new doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering and I feel very cared for and safe there. I have gotten back to work. I choreographed a new piece that premiered in April, I published my first scholarly article in the Media-N journal, I had a couple of other small pieces come out, and I revised a chapter for a mellon seminar on dance studies. Slowly, things are picking up pace. We feel like we’ve arrived. Finally.

Yet, of course there are still unknowns. I still have moments of fear over my health that I try to manage with deep breathing. I am still not working as much as I’d like and it’s unclear how that working will manifest itself in a career. I try my best to be in the moment, but sometimes I find that incredibly difficult.

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